A dreadful realization
Jun. 8th, 2003 02:40 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
malsperanzaSomething terrible has just occurred to me. If the Death Eaters of the West End are mounting a LOTR stage musical, can a Harry Potter musical be far behind?
Ohgod, ohgod, ohgod.
I can live in a world that musicalifies LOTR, because LOTR can survive anything, like Shakespeare. But civilization cannot contend with two musicals in the world involving flying singing children; Peter Pan , as we all know, was the proximate cause of WW I. And now... now we have nukes...
Will assuage unbearable pain with more LOTR--the Musical:
Shelob's Song:
Shelob's Song (Tune: I Feel Pretty)
I feel evil,
Oh so evil
I feel peevish and brimming with spite
And I pity
Any wight
Who's in my cave tonight.
I feel vicious,
Oh so vicious
I'm capriciously viciously mean,
So pernicious
That I scarcely
Can contain
My spleen.
I feel spiteful,
Oh so spiteful
It is frightful how spiteful I feel
And so evil
That I hardly
Can believe
I'm real.
Hear my hairy belly slogging through the dark
What can that appalling stench be?
Such an awful face,
Such revolting fangs,
Such a vile smile,
Such an evil me!
I feel stunning
And entracing,
Feel like running and fetching my fork
For I've bitten
A delicious
And nutritious Orc!
Have you met my good buddy Ufthak,
The toothsomest snack on the block?
You'll know him
The minute you see him
He's the one
Who is in an advanced state of shock.
He thinks he's in pain,
He's done for, poor pup,
He isn't quite dead,
He's merely hung up.
It must be the heat,
Or the venom and bile,
Or too much to eat,
For I feel truly vile.
Keep away from him;
Send for Gorbag,
This is good old Ungoliant you see,
Gentle and kind,
Polite and refined,
Ageless and malign,
And wanting my tea.
I feel evil,
Oh so evil
That the devil
Should give me my due
A committee should
Be organized
To feed me you.
I feel rabid,
I feel toxic
I feel fatal and filthy and fell
And so evil,
That Galadriel
Can go
To hell.
Yes, that is a favorite.
Elsewhere in the news, am hideously disillusioned. Am listening to the wonderful musician Eugenia Zuckerman on the radio. She is being interviewed about what she would take to a desert island. She has just ruined my life by choosing to bring the entire video set of Sister Wendy's Art History Program.
*commits suicide*
I mean, it's one thing to want a nice, accessible, layperson's account of art--don't we all--but Sister Wendy is
a) Full of shit
b) Obsessed with sex
c) Completely arse-ignorant about art
Wish I could think Zuckerman was aiming for desert-island comic relief. There is something pleasing about watching the last nun in the universe who dresses in a full chadour stand in front of some plump nubile nekked Renoir or Titian beauty, spraying saliva through her teeth as she explains that It's All About Sex.
Oh, and the cats are still veryverystupid.
Ohgod, ohgod, ohgod.
I can live in a world that musicalifies LOTR, because LOTR can survive anything, like Shakespeare. But civilization cannot contend with two musicals in the world involving flying singing children; Peter Pan , as we all know, was the proximate cause of WW I. And now... now we have nukes...
Will assuage unbearable pain with more LOTR--the Musical:
Shelob's Song:
Shelob's Song (Tune: I Feel Pretty)
I feel evil,
Oh so evil
I feel peevish and brimming with spite
And I pity
Any wight
Who's in my cave tonight.
I feel vicious,
Oh so vicious
I'm capriciously viciously mean,
So pernicious
That I scarcely
Can contain
My spleen.
I feel spiteful,
Oh so spiteful
It is frightful how spiteful I feel
And so evil
That I hardly
Can believe
I'm real.
Hear my hairy belly slogging through the dark
What can that appalling stench be?
Such an awful face,
Such revolting fangs,
Such a vile smile,
Such an evil me!
I feel stunning
And entracing,
Feel like running and fetching my fork
For I've bitten
A delicious
And nutritious Orc!
Have you met my good buddy Ufthak,
The toothsomest snack on the block?
You'll know him
The minute you see him
He's the one
Who is in an advanced state of shock.
He thinks he's in pain,
He's done for, poor pup,
He isn't quite dead,
He's merely hung up.
It must be the heat,
Or the venom and bile,
Or too much to eat,
For I feel truly vile.
Keep away from him;
Send for Gorbag,
This is good old Ungoliant you see,
Gentle and kind,
Polite and refined,
Ageless and malign,
And wanting my tea.
I feel evil,
Oh so evil
That the devil
Should give me my due
A committee should
Be organized
To feed me you.
I feel rabid,
I feel toxic
I feel fatal and filthy and fell
And so evil,
That Galadriel
Can go
To hell.
Yes, that is a favorite.
Elsewhere in the news, am hideously disillusioned. Am listening to the wonderful musician Eugenia Zuckerman on the radio. She is being interviewed about what she would take to a desert island. She has just ruined my life by choosing to bring the entire video set of Sister Wendy's Art History Program.
*commits suicide*
I mean, it's one thing to want a nice, accessible, layperson's account of art--don't we all--but Sister Wendy is
a) Full of shit
b) Obsessed with sex
c) Completely arse-ignorant about art
Wish I could think Zuckerman was aiming for desert-island comic relief. There is something pleasing about watching the last nun in the universe who dresses in a full chadour stand in front of some plump nubile nekked Renoir or Titian beauty, spraying saliva through her teeth as she explains that It's All About Sex.
Oh, and the cats are still veryverystupid.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2003-08-13 12:48 am (UTC)(Oh, and in case you're wondering I think I found your journal through
cheers!
no subject
Date: 2003-08-13 02:55 am (UTC)I never finished mine either. I like your tapdancing Nazgul though. Reminds me a bit of
Or of course the Grateful Dead dancing skeletons. Yah, I could definitely feature a Nazgul version of "Dark Star," or ... hmmm...