Cyberpillory
Jul. 3rd, 2003 12:45 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
malsperanzaOK, P. I know you are going to read this, you rat-bastard. Deny it you may, but I will know. I am hereby putting you in the cyberpillory. Public disgrace and shame be visited upon you, and the ten plagues of Egypt. Locusts, frogs, the lot.
1. You are a rat-bastard for not coming with me this weekend.
2. Although to be honest I thought you were insane for offering to in the first place.
3. Yes, of course I am perfectly capable of murdering my family without your help, but you were supposed to drive the getaway car, remember?
4. Now I will have to spare my bro instead.
5. You know which bro.
6. Being on call is no excuse. What did they invent beepers for?
7. And anyway, those people are not really sick; they just want attention. We have been over this. Please refer to your notes.
8. Please don't over-water the begonia. It will die. Conversely, please do not forget to give fresh water to the cats. If you have any doubts about this, remember that the cats are the small gray ambulatory objects. As a rule of thumb, if it is sitting on the keyboard, vibrating, and/or making the same sound as a blender, only more muffled, then it is a cat. If it is green and leafy and does not make much noise, chances are it is a begonia, not a cat.
9. All I can say is, there had better be flowers, and dinner, when I get back.
10. And if there are no flowers and no dinner, there had better at least be milk for the coffee because otherwise I will beat you to death with that large blue hardcover book that has been lying around the house lately.
11. And since you haven't read it yet, let me be the first to say: Darth Vader is Luke Skywalker's father. Mwahahahahahaha. I knew you'd look.
12. Happy 4th of July.
13. That was veryveryfunny this afternoon; I am still laughing.
14. But you are still a traitorous rat-bastard, and unpatriotic to boot.
1. You are a rat-bastard for not coming with me this weekend.
2. Although to be honest I thought you were insane for offering to in the first place.
3. Yes, of course I am perfectly capable of murdering my family without your help, but you were supposed to drive the getaway car, remember?
4. Now I will have to spare my bro instead.
5. You know which bro.
6. Being on call is no excuse. What did they invent beepers for?
7. And anyway, those people are not really sick; they just want attention. We have been over this. Please refer to your notes.
8. Please don't over-water the begonia. It will die. Conversely, please do not forget to give fresh water to the cats. If you have any doubts about this, remember that the cats are the small gray ambulatory objects. As a rule of thumb, if it is sitting on the keyboard, vibrating, and/or making the same sound as a blender, only more muffled, then it is a cat. If it is green and leafy and does not make much noise, chances are it is a begonia, not a cat.
9. All I can say is, there had better be flowers, and dinner, when I get back.
10. And if there are no flowers and no dinner, there had better at least be milk for the coffee because otherwise I will beat you to death with that large blue hardcover book that has been lying around the house lately.
11. And since you haven't read it yet, let me be the first to say: Darth Vader is Luke Skywalker's father. Mwahahahahahaha. I knew you'd look.
12. Happy 4th of July.
13. That was veryveryfunny this afternoon; I am still laughing.
14. But you are still a traitorous rat-bastard, and unpatriotic to boot.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2003-07-02 10:54 pm (UTC)and here i thought it was an OotP spoiler. wooble. you have just ruined the entire star wars experience for me. i hope you are happy.
=D.
happy fourth.
no subject
Date: 2003-07-07 05:09 pm (UTC)What else? Oh yes, you asked for flowers: a big bunch of cut begonias will be waiting.
P.